Day 3 of Four

My journey, ... as it is and as it happens, ... my journey. Some days up others down and to-day I am very tired, ... exhausted.

To-day was Pre-op day. My visit with the surgeon gave me information I wanted to know, but not exactly what I wanted to hear. I asked how long the surgery would be and he told me 4 hours and I think that was the beginning of feeling tired.

I have had just a few surgeries in my life, ... the first being a tonsillectomy at age 8 when the anesthetic was ether. I can remember being terrified and feeling as though I was suffocating. While under, I had a horrifying dream of being chased down a long dark tunnel by a clown, ... there was a light at the end of the tunnel. I remember screaming and being told of course not to as it could cause bleeding in my throat.

To say I am not looking forward to surgery is ridiculous, .... who does.

I was told to-day that I would be in hospital a week, and that is a good thing, ... I was afraid of being let out too soon as is the way in most hospitals to-day. The scan I had on day 2 showed no new cancer anywhere, and that is a good thing. The scan did show however, 2 new spots on the liver. I will be having an ultra-sound on the liver as part of the surgery and depending on what information that gives my doctor, the spots will be zapped, or, I will be having more surgery later to remove part of the liver.

There has been much information to deal with since this all began, and just now, I don't want to know anything else, ... I just want it over and done. That will be Day 4, and there will be no blogging until at least a week later, ... there are more places yet to go on this journey.