The countdown has begun, ... only 7 more days until surgery. I am, ... Oh so many things!! Holding on tight, too tight, happy to have things under way, coming apart at the least deviation from what I think I know, anxious for it all to be over and to know all there is to know.
This was the injection day that came with it's own little deviation. I was at Henderson Cancer Hospital this morning for an 11'o'clock appointment to have the injection in preparation for tomorrow's liver scan, ... or at least that is what I thought was to be scanned, as that is where the cancer was to have metastasized to. However, as the nurse was explaining what would happen tomorrow, she told me that if the cancer had spread to other places in my body, the injection would enable these places to light up.
Wonderful!! I hadn't heard or thought of this possibility, ... I thought we had just been concerned about the liver, ... but other places? Once again, ... this sent me down some. I guess I have been trying to ignore too much and it all, whatever it is, will have to be faced in large or small doses very, very soon.
I am beginning to feel scared and sad, ... and I think I must allow myself to feel this way, ... who wouldn't. It will pass, because I know there is strength in me. I can deal with what I know, ... so let's get on to the knowing.
Tomorrow is Day Two of Four, ... the Scan. It is a 2 hour event which will help the surgeon tremendously on Day Four, ... Let's get a good night's sleep Nancy.
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We're with you in spirit. Hang in there. We love you!
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